I was surprised, honestly and truly, to the comments on last week’s post. What floored me—I am always touched by the thoughtful observations of my readers—were the notes about the volume of tasks I undertook.
In my mind, I am always falling behind on the list chores I set for myself. Life has a way of meddling with good intentions. And if truth be known, I am generally the cause of my derailment.
I wake up in a mood – you know the sort, when your hair is suddenly hideous, your heart is heavier than an anvil, your mind is consumed with what-if scenarios all of which doubt plays a lead role in, or your skin is either too big or too small.
Nothing seems achievable when I am swirling in Hurricane Brenda.
News reports from the shoreline are grim.
Today Hurricane Brenda swallowed the doubt pill and has taken out the entire town of Creative Haven, her own private Idaho…
Hurricane Brenda continues to rage. Sources close to the family have heard she is swirling rapidly but going nowhere…
I’ve learned to step over myself during my ‘moodier’ days. There is nothing to be done except push pass Hurricane Brenda and give way to the rush of illogical drama unfolding in my head. I let it run its course.
If my hair was perfect yesterday and the day before that, and the one before that, what is wrong with it today?
If my heart was free of anguish then what’s different in this moment?
As for the skin around my bones suddenly feeling misaligned, I’ve learned to accept this as growth and or change. Something in me is moving on or I need to leave something behind. Until I confront what that something is, I’m saddled with the accompanying discomfort.
The self-manufactured evil doubt vapor requires a bit of finesse and mental prowess. Knowing I conjured it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with when it’s racing through my blood as the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil does through a strip of celluloid.
Life or moi can wreck havoc on my to-do list and quite honestly it usually does, but when it doesn’t, I scurry to get through a stack of to-dos.
So why was I surprised at the responses to my post last week? I hadn’t meant to sound like an over achiever although I wish sometimes I had those tendencies. The facts are that I am easily distracted by shiny things or lanky with come-hither eyed characters who invade my daytime dreams. Therefore, I do what I can when I can, knowing that there is always some mischief lurking around the corner waiting for the exact moment to derail my good intentions. Creativity marches to it’s own beat. I try to keep up.
One lesson I’ve recently learned—due to a recent job change—is to take advantage of shorter time intervals. Barbara, over at Empty Nest Mom, wrote a fabulous post on making room for the illusive ten minutes, check it out.
One a side note, I sometimes wish that I hadn’t waited so very long to chase this dream of being a writer. Maybe time wouldn’t seem so priceless. I guess it’s one of those things I’ll never know unless I invent a time machine, go back in time, and rewrite my story.
What are your tips for balancing the never-ending list of chores with dreams in the demanding must do- have it all life you lead?