You Lost That Loving Feeling

“Baby, stop bugging me, I’ve got a list of to-do’s longer than Tyra Bank’s legs.”

“Is that anyway to treat a long lost friend?”

“Friend? You’re a scamp, a tease, a vagabond.  Don’t bat your long lashes at me.”

“You don’t need me anymore. I swoop in on the moonlight looking for attention and you cast me aside. Where’s the love?”

“Exactly, swoop, being the operative word here. Where were you three months ago when I was lost and drowning in a cup of pity me?  My bet is your were wooing Tyra. I see she has a book out.”

“So does Snooky.”

“Please tell me you had no hand in that one. For all that is sacred, surely you have a thread of moral decency. A muse has to have standards.”

“Jealous?”

“Not even a bit. She deserves her moment in the sun. But a book deal?”

“Even I wouldn’t sink that low. I do abide by a code. Don’t arch your eyebrows at me, woman. You’re haven’t earned the right to look down on me. You don’t have people, only me. I was here at the first page whispering in your ear, urging you on, and beating down your demons.”

“You were, but you left. And for you information, I have people, my characters live in my heart and head. They don’t run away when it gets tough.”

“Who are you and what have you done with that broken down, needy women I left lost on the page twenty-five, crying in her Pinot Noir? What gives? You’re shiny, bubbly even, like a bottle of chilled Dom Perignon.  Do you have a new lover?”

“No, I don’t but that’s not a bad idea. Do you know happened to know a lanky, come-hither gray eyes, lips that taste like honey, man?”

“Hey, that’s not nice. What’s up with you.  Plastic surgery, Botox, did you join Weight Watchers? Something’s different about you. You look, don’t get offended, but you look better, like you’ve danced on the edge and lived to tell about it. You’ve got moxie and something else, something like sizzle is shooting out of your fingertips.”

“I’ll take your backhanded compliment and run with it. Now go away before I will you away.”

“ARGH!”

“What now? You’re driving me batty.”

“Please tell me you’re not one of those enlightened types. Gaud, I hate ‘em. They buy crap wine. Eat sprouted bread what is that anyway? And pretend Tofu is the new Brie.”

“Hmm, enlightened, maybe I am, but not how you describe it. I like Tofu, but it will never replace double-crème brie.”

“Come sit by me. I’m lonely. Amuse me. Tell me what’s going on inside and why you’re so cruel. Bring me wine.”

“No time for you, not tonight. You can sip my wine and watch me work, but only if you promise to be quiet as a church mouse.”

…..

……..

………..

“Are you crying?”

“NO! I have something in my eye.”

“For a writer’s muse, you’re kind of wimpy. Man up, isn’t that what you were telling me when you left me for dead on the hardwood floor?”

“You don’t need me. I exist to be needed, desired, prayed over, drank heavily for, fawned over. Writer’s don’t’ desert me, I leave them.”

I know.

“Why don’t you want me anymore?”

“Look who’s being needy now.”

“Bitch.”

“And proud of it. You left me high and dry for the your latest crush, likely Snooky, at page twenty-five. I was spiraling. What I needed was a kick in the pants not silence.”

“I thought you needed some time alone, to reflect, rethink your passion, find your core. Was I right or was I right?”

“You’re a jerk.”

“I’ve been called worse, baby, but you can’t argue with me. You know it was the right thing to do. You had to figure it out on your own. All writers, even the great ones, had to learn the hard way. If you’re really a writer, the kind who will go the distance, you’ll find inner strength, resolve, and that almighty force, on your own.  Besides, I never left, not once. I was here when you broke the sound barrier at word 50K, and again as your rounded 90K. I was here when you clicked back on, when you found your footing, and when you climbed out of that cup of pity. I’m here for life, baby.  Now come on, amuse me. Tell me, what’s next?”

……

……..

“Come on, you know you want to.”

“OK, I have a few minutes. Let me pour us a glass of wine. After you disappeared, I regrouped and like you said, found my core, and made a list. First…….

and finally…..

“So you came out kickboxing?”

“In a round about way, yes.”

“Pour us another glass of wine.”

 

When you’re in the depths of you own dark mind, how do you pull yourself out?

 

i write, talk in my head, walk, write, and when that doesn’t work, i write.

by

I’m a writer and hoarder of one-size-fits-all panty hose. Until the hose fits over my bum, I write to provide an alternative view on writing and perfection.

56 thoughts on “You Lost That Loving Feeling

  1. Excellent and oh, so spot-on!
    Writing, music, and playing with art sipplies usually seems to do the trick for me. And if nothing comes? If my Muse is off annoying some other poor soul and I’m feeling needy without her? I always have Angry Birds. *grin*
    Chris Dean recently posted….Chicken On A LeashMy Profile

    • Thanks much, Chris. I’ve not tried Angry birds, usually it’s music, walking, writing, back to music. I always end up back at writing even if I am typing dear diary woe is me stuff.

    • Kelly – writing for me is magical. When I’m stuck I open up a blank page in my journal and write crap until whatever is bothering works it’s way out. It helped me over the hurdle of the WIP. It’s help me ride the query coaster. Whatever may happen next I’m certain writing will be involved.

  2. Nowadays, I write my way out. I’ll write really bad poetry, forcing myself to conform to rules like a sonnet. I go full blown esoteric, no easy rhymes. I find the narrower my options, the harder something is to do, the more I have to concentrate. The more concentrated my thinking, the less room there is for it to wander off to the dark corners and hide.
    Lynne Favreau recently posted….Self-Respect FirstMy Profile

    • Lynne – I admire your ability to stick to the rules of poetry. Honestly, they overwhelm me, thus my penchant for free verse. I couldn’t be esoteric if i tried, which is a real bummer since that’s the current flavor of poetry. How do you know your poetry is bad? Had you submitted or workshopped – or shared? I’ve kind of decided what the heck, I like what I like, and so will the reader who finds your poetry.

  3. I love how you take serious topics and treat them so light-heartedly! But in answer to your question – up until now I usually just wait for the deep darkness to pass because usually I’ve been incapacitated by it. But lately as I am beginning to understand the pattern (because there is a cycle that seems to keep repeating itself) I am opening myself up to new approaches of dealing with it, which really are old ways in new clothing. All just variations of Just Do It. As usual I love how your writing gets me thinking! :-) xxx
    Edith recently posted….Generating Ideas with Morning Pages, or an Antidote to Writer’s BlockMy Profile

  4. Wow, like rimly says, I love how the force of the writer prevails here. Just like you … a force to be reckoned. My muse and I have just realized that September is here and we have to get back to work. September is like New Years for me – full of resolutions and goals. Let’s hope our collective resolve prevails :)
    Astra recently posted….My life of crime: Domestic Investments 101My Profile

    • Astra – you’ve been on my mind lately. I’ve wondered if you were hold up in a cabin writing your stories. I hope you are doing well and prepared for you crazy Ice Hockey season. Glad to see you.

  5. If I get really lost or stuck, I bury myself in writing books. Like, for instance, Chapter After Chapter by Heather Sellers, which is largely about sticking it out even when the writing gets tough. And writers’ books on writing. Stuff like that. It’s enormously helpful.

    • Hola June – As you know I don’t go that route, rather I talk to my imaginary friends or the wall. The only book that recharges me is Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit. It’s not necessarily about writing, but about being creative and the habit of it. Fascinating read.

  6. I too love how you turn deep topics into lighthearted blog posts. I’m trying to do that with my blog as well. It doesn’t work well. haha

    I always have arguments in my head. It’s either one of my muses (say, the writing one) fighting with another (for example, the drawing one), or just the procrastinating part of my brain arguing with the productive one. Usually, it’s a random win, haha.

    Interesting post!
    Dave M. Saha recently posted….About WarsMy Profile

    • Hi Dave.. Thanks much. I tend to think when we’re in a moment that’s the time to be serious, but after, might has well have a little fun. There is time aplenty for seriousness. Thanks much for stopping by.

    • Bev – I suppose it’s up to the writer to decide the sex of his/her muse. I don’t think it would be a bad thing having a sexy Gay man, except he might rag on me about wearing last year’s styles. I’ve always fancied mine was a man’s man. And yes, they do get around. Thanks goodness for journals.

  7. My pick me ups ad to change when I was diagnosed with diabetes in August of 2011. I now head for the diet Coke and Skype to see & talk with the grandkids. Time with my grandkids tops everything I can do for a pick me up, but I do add shopping in there. Diet Coke, Grandkids, and shopping, but mainly grandkids. It’s mind boggling how much they lift my spirit to a higher level.

    • Marilyn, you always have such a positive attitude. I don’t have grandkids – still have kids– but mine continue to bring me the same level of joy. Where would we be without Skype! Take care of yourself my dear.

  8. jan

    I love this, so perfect…when I am in the depths of darkness, I walk, take photos, listen to music or read the words of other people, like you…

    • Jan, and your photos are inspiring. I love writing to photos and sentence prompts. I never know where I will end up and I often find something unexpected. And thanks for the warm words. You know us creatives are so vulnerable and jump for joy at a good word.

    • Sharon – Writers travel the spectrum of emotions. We love rolling around in the muck and rising to soar with the eagles. We’re an odd breed. I kind of like that about me.

  9. Ooh, an inner dialogue. Well played, Brenda. Feels so real, as these thoughts have been known to haunt me. My favorite line?

    “You don’t have people, only me. I was here at the first page whispering in your ear, urging you on, and beating down your demons.”

    Yep. So true. Thanks for sharing, my dear.
    Monica recently posted….The Lost WeekendMy Profile

    • Melissa – Every writer fights with their imagination. I keep a couple of writer’s journals. I always wanted to but would never be serious about it until they became an app. Love it! And you are never alone with this stuff. Each of us has something we wrestle with.

  10. I’m with Lynn re: concentration! Wine helps, sort of, except it doesn’t. I have found meditation–specifically affirming phrases–to be the most helpful thing of all. When I get neurotic about writing, more writing doesn’t do it. It becomes a vicious circle thingy. I have to get out of that mode altogether, but fortunately, I can meditate between paragraphs. Yup.
    Helen W. Mallon recently posted….Tell a Thousand Lies–and see what you getMy Profile

    • Helen – we couldn’t be more different in our approaches, which is what I find fascinating about each of us writers. Thinking too much for me is dangerous. I am better at doing. I don’t always find what I am looking for but I get what’s out of my mind on to the page. Writing and passion are my two favorite subjects to explore.

    • Amy – excellent options. I don’t have the photographer’s eye and wouldn’t try, but I can see how healing it would be to go find the world through a lens.

  11. Hi Brenda,

    You had me at Tyra’s legs.

    That was an entertaining conversation that you had with your muse. Mine is not that sassy. You gave as good as you got though.

    When I’m in the depths of my own dark mind, I put it all down on paper. Those thoughts may never see the light of day, but it helps to get them out. A glass of wine can help to speed things along.
    Ray Colon recently posted….To Hell with Everyone ElseMy Profile

    • Ray – I am sassy in real life so it stands to reason I’d banter with my muse in the same voice. I’m with you, I write it out. And NO WAY I’d ever share what comes out, but almost always I find something in my words to use elsewhere or in another story. Wine if very good to loose the joints.

  12. Pingback: Sunday Surprise: Adopting the Creative, Romancing the Muse, and Patent Blue Wedge Shoes « The Practice of Creativity

  13. Mamawolfe

    Yes, writing helps. But so does baking fresh bread or a nice meal for my family, or digging in my garden, or walking my dog…girlfriends, drinks, chocolate…as you can see I use these resources often!
    Mamawolfe recently posted….Book Review: Daring GreatlyMy Profile

    • Jennifer – I have a fear of yeast, so baking bread is not where I find release. Cooking a gourmet dinner is relaxing to me. And when I say gourmet, I met something of my own design and nothing out from FoodTV.com and yes, you do.

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