Your Extraordinary Life

by Brenda on May 15, 2012

Forget Me Not

Where is it

 

I had it at eleven, lost it in the tween,
And found it again at eighteen

Egocentric, self-centered, “Look at me! Aren’t I amazing!
I am indestructible and beyond your reach, see me soar

Into the arms of my destiny all mine to design, no fear, have I.

I pledge allegiance to my character, vowing to stand guard over it
Strong-arming dream catcher thieves and the doomsayers, lurking

In the fringe, scheming to sabotage my flight of fancy
Set to carry me on my journey as I rise above the ordinary. My aspiration

To be extraordinary is clear. I sprint onward with reckless abandonment,
So sure am I never to take the back seat of this life.

My resolve firm, my identity radiant, even the blazing sun
Pardons my innocence arrogance and youthful ignorance, knowing

I know not. Years gather behind my youth, bringing forth a weighty

Doubt. It tugs at my seams and leisurely unravels the fabric
Until my core lay bare on the marble floor of middle age

Alongside a humdrum life, once boundless, now drear.
I plod through the day sucking out an existence

Bleak of inspiration, I sigh. There I am, stuck between
Past dreams and today’s truth, neither lighting a path to higher

Ground where my destiny strums her fingers. My heart
Yearns for what it does not know, knowing as it does what it has

Is more than it deserves in my children and the life I

Took but did not design. If blessings were stars, the
Cloaked passage waiting for the impression of my feet

Would glister, dazzling even the wise Moon. My course
Forward remains hidden to me until I surrender.

If peace is to dwell in my soul, calm, and serenity
To bloom within my heart, I must traverse the years

To find and face the moment where I buried my radiant
Self, to accept this life was always mine to define,

Even the detours and trips down the gray roads, were

Shepherding me to this point of flux, where I now lie
Exposed on the cold floor with my battered spirit, waiting

For what it knows not. Changes loom amidst the shadows,
In the tween of dark and light, past and present, cooing me

“Look at me! Aren’t I amazing!
I am indestructible and beyond your reach, see me soar

Into the arms of my destiny all mine to design, no fear, have I.
I re-pledge allegiance to my character, to stand guard over it-until the end

I sprint onward with reckless abandonment,
Certain I’ll never take for granted my extraordinary life.

 

If doubt has unraveled any of your dreams and your at the corner of lost and I might never be found, re-pledge yourself to yourself.  Have you remembered to count your blessings today?

{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

Kelly Hashway May 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

Such a great reminder, Brenda. It’s so easy to let doubt get you down. I’ve done it countless times, and continue to do it. It’s good to stop and think about what you do have and be grateful.
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Brenda May 15, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Kelly – I supposed it’s the downside to being human, we get lost in ourselves. I was once, but that was such a long time ago. I like having the memories though, they are a story board of ideas. I am ever grateful for what I have, always.

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Martha Orlando May 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Oh, how beautifully expressed, Brenda! Doubt has tried to get me down many times in the past, but I don’t let that happen anymore. And, yes, every day, I count my many blessings!
Blessings to you!
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Brenda May 15, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Thanks kindly, Martha. Like you, I am a counter and if doubt should rear it’s ugly head my way I’ll kick it to the curb.

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rimly May 15, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Wow! I just love the imagery in this poem. So full of positive energy Brenda. I love it! So easy to go down that bottomless pit when you are unsure and riddled with doubts.

http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.in/2012/05/my-salvation.html
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Rimly, I am glad you see the positive. We start from one place, dip and dive into phases, but we manage to redefine and blossom again and again. Thanks much for sharing and the kind words.

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Annie May 15, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Absolutely beautiful, Brenda. I think all can relate to this.
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Thanks, Annie. I am messing with a series of poems about the beautifully flawed female psyche, this is the second in the series. Not sure where I am going with it yet, but I am enjoying the process.

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Kathy Radigan May 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm

This piece spoke right to me!!! I have felt every emotion you describe and now find myself, in my forties, finally starting to soar again. For so long I feared I would have “She had a lot of potential” on my gravestone. Now I feel as if I’m unstoppable. A very new feeling. Thank you, I’m putting this on my vision board that I have over my desk!! Just beautiful!!!!!!
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Brenda May 15, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Kathy – I don’t think there is a woman alive who hasn’t take a detour and woke up and wondered where they got lost. I think the trick is to keep moving forward and not to be come overwhelmed by our own fears. I am pleased you found your own voice and have started to soar again. Feels good doesn’t it?

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Linda May 15, 2012 at 6:11 pm

This poem just carried me all the way through..what can I say, it is beautifully written and a tale of so many.
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kario May 15, 2012 at 6:21 pm

This is so gorgeous, Brenda! And it fits perfectly with what I was thinking about all weekend and eventually wrote about today. I love knowing that all of those twists and turns will eventually lead me right where I need to be. I didn’t used to trust that, but that is the beauty of getting older, I think. That we gain the trust and the acceptance to just be who we are right now.
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Linda Medrano May 15, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Such a beautiful expression of spirit, growth, doubt and even redemption. We never are finished in the journey, Brenda. It goes on and on. It’s what we do with it everyday that matters.
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Linda, I agree with you completely, we are never finished, EVER. As long as there is breath in our lungs, the will, and the curiosity to explore, there is more to experience. It’s corny, but it is really about the journey and not the destination.

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Beth May 15, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I’ve reintroduced myself to the girl who lived without limits and was the champion of her own dreams. I had to dig a little to find her, but she’s still there. I like her.
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I’m glad you did, Beth. I am sure she missed you while you were on hiatus. We never really leave, we just get buried in the laundry.

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Bella May 15, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Brenda, as I read this poem, I felt the energy radiating through every word. It was almost like a cheer, encouraging you to surge forward; to carry on and stay true to all that is you and what you want to accomplish. I think we all need to remind ourselves of this from time to time. Your poetry, as always, is elegant and eloquent! :)

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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Aww, Bella .. thanks much. It’s not a me only poem, but it is written in the ‘I’ voice. I find these sorts of poems are strong written this way.. but maybe not. I’ll have to experiment and I continue working through the Wanton Woman’s Psyche series.

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Astra May 16, 2012 at 1:23 am

You stole my diary. I want it back.

I loved every single line but this one:

“If blessings were stars, the
Cloaked passage waiting for the impression of my feet

Would glister, dazzling even the wise Moon.”

Stellar (pardon the pun) ….
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Astra, without your diary how would I be able to write about all our hidden secrets ( you know us women are opaque). I promise not to tell anyone what happened that one time with the boy with green eyes and curly black locks. :-)

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Janaki Nagaraj May 16, 2012 at 4:59 am

Lovely…have been in doubt a lot of time. Wonderful poem and imagery.

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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I appreciate you stopping by, Janaki. Doubt makes us work harder to find our dreams. We push through it, don’t you think?

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k~ May 16, 2012 at 6:40 am

silently breathes in each word,
once,
twice,
thrice…

“Into the arms of my destiny all mine to design, no fear, have I.
I re-pledge allegiance to my character, to stand guard over it-until the end”

This, and all that surrounds it, becomes you.

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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

K- I love the way you breathed like onto the virtual page here (sorry for the delay in responding, I was traveling last week).

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Monica May 16, 2012 at 6:43 am

“Look at me! Aren’t I amazing!
I am indestructible and beyond your reach, see me soar”

I’m watching you soar, Brenda, and you are brilliant! I love this poem. :)
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Monica, we are all amazing (at least after coffee). You’ve made my morning. There are days I feel this way, soaring high, and other times when I stare at the night sky and wonder. I’ve received wonderful input on themes to explore in my woman’s wanton psyche series, looking forward to writing more.

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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Aw, Monica. Me, too. It wasn’t my friend as I wrote it, but at the end I was pleased. Finding the words.. tough sometimes, yes?

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Claudine Gueh May 16, 2012 at 12:06 pm

It’s sweetly ironic how, once in our lifetimes, we’d all think we were indestructible, and how later on we’d find ways to remind ourselves that we aren’t as frail as we think we are. Sail out. We might not be indestructible, but we can find out just how far we can sail out to realize our extraordinary lives. Really enjoyed your words here, Brenda, as well as that strikingly peaceful picture of forget-me-nots. (What a gorgeous blue.)
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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Claudine – I am glad you noticed the image. I wanted to find something that fit my experimental poem. I am working on a few pieces I want to submit. Posting on the blog helps me with the editor’s process. I learned very recently poetry is such a versatile medium and means something different to each of us. I was with a group last week who performed their poems. AMAZING! AS for this poem and the sentiment, we’re not indestructible but we’re stronger than we realize… I am every amazed by women.

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Nikky44 May 16, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I loved your poem Brenda, and yes i have felt lost many times and still do now, but I am also grateful for whatever life ha to offer :)
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Brenda May 16, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Yay, so glad you enjoyed, Nikky. It was a struggle getting it right and I’m sure there are few rounds of edits left, but it’s about there.

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Corinne Rodrigues May 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Into the arms of my destiny all mine to design, no fear, have I.
I re-pledge allegiance to my character, to stand guard over it-until the end

What a strong affirmation this is, Brenda. This is just what I needed to read today. Thank you for being YOU and for sharing the gift you have.
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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I am so glad you found strength in my words, Corinne. You have done the same for me many a time. I attended a writing conference last week and wondered for a few hours what I was doing there ( stage nerves) but when I read your comment (last week) I found my ground. We’re all different.

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rimly May 17, 2012 at 2:57 pm

This is so much You, Brenda, full of spunk and spirit!
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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Rimly, we gals have spirit, more than we realize.

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Elizabeth Young May 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Beautifully expressed Brenda. We only finish becoming when we choose to do so. Some people choose at 20, and other wiser souls, never. There’s a world of inspiration outwardly and inwardly meant to hold our attention for a lifetime I believe! Love the expression: ‘cloaked passage.’

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Brenda May 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Elizabeth, so very true, we gals are fluid and always in motion. We continue to find ourselves everyday of our lives. I think we get better and better as we figure out the pieces, but we have those moments when we forget.

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G Angela May 18, 2012 at 5:43 am

I loved the way you expressed, perfect words, empowering, so easy to doubt oneself, thanks for reminding, I re pledge myself once again to count the blessings of life, be grateful to what I have and move on …… thanks for sharing !

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Brenda May 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Thanks, Angela. It’s a universal feeling – at least that is my thought when I am attempting to explore the woman’s emotions through poetry.

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Jennifer O. (@LitEndeavors) May 18, 2012 at 8:40 pm

” If blessings were stars, the
Cloaked passage waiting for the impression of my feet

Would glister, dazzling even the wise Moon.”

Wow. Just wow!
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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Jennifer, thanks much. I like that one as well. I am always amazed how many ways there is to say something. All we have to do is look.

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Helen W. Mallon May 18, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Brenda, I would love to hear you read this OUT LOUD! Self-doubt is the enemy of writers…I’m learning to say, “Oh, hello.Thanks for sharing. Now, please be quiet. I have work to do.”
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Brenda May 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Helen – I did read this one aloud recently to a group of other writers, but to do so I had to practice. I had more fun practice reading it than reading. Reading our words aloud is the most amazing editing process. On the poem itself, we do have those darker feelings. I do enjoy exploring all facets of the mind and heart. At a writing a workshop I attended last week, an author said, it’s the job of the writer to get to he hard truth. I never thought about it like that before but in some writings we should.

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