This One’s For The Girls

dreamstime_xs_32110182Our first steps into the world are tentative. I wondered when I left home for the first time, will I make it out there. There was no certainty I would. In my case, I plunged, belly first, into the sea of life. I didn’t have a outline prepared. I didn’t even know what a hope chest was. All I new was whatever happened to me, even if I fell flat on my face and failed—and I have and will likely continue to do so until I’m dust in the wind—that hope floated, and would get me where I need to go.



*a feminine perspective*

@ 16

  • Nonsensical belief that all dreams come true
  • You only have to believe
  • Love is ever lasting
  • First kisses leave a permanent mark on your heart
  • Happiness is free and easy
  • Being a grown is going to be a blast
  • Girls just want to have fun
  • Boys are retarded


  • Boys remain retarded
  • Kissing lots of boys isn’t nearly as interesting as kissing just one
  • Love is puzzling
  • Happiness is dancing all night long and watching the sunrise over the Pacific Ocean
  • Life is endless
  • There is plenty of time to answer the “What will I be when I grow up?”, question.
  • And girls only want to have fun and to live life with reckless abandonment


  • Life was easier before responsibilities
  • Love is a harsh mistress
  • First kisses haunt
  • Working forty hours plus per week leaves little time for self
  • The spirit of the girl begins to fade
  • Taxes are a burden
  • Dreams get lost in the shuffle
  • Girls covet fun but don the conservative, grownup persona


  • Running fast and hard, thrills
  • Love is complicated
  • Work, work, work
  • Corporate ladders and ambition replace childhood dreams
  • Kindred friendships become harder to find
  • The “Who am I?” question haunts the back of the mind
  • A bucket list starts
  • Men are still retarded
  • Silk blouses replace stiff cotton ones – a shift in perspective begins


  • Laugh lines and gravity occupy the mind
  • Play dates, Mini-vans, soccer and swim team, are the new black
  • Old friendships get lost and new seasonal ones are introduced
  • Love becomes a battlefield
  • Having it all is hard work
  • The “Is this what I wanted out of life”” question is at the forefront of the mind.
  • Old dreams hover in the distance
  • Not Your Mom Jeans and a gym membership are added to the budget
  • A woman dreams of Barcelona (Paris, Kalamazoo, Denver, New York, wherever her heart dreams of fun)


  • The realization that life is not endless hits hard
  • Old dreams rekindle and become realities
  • Love is what you make it
  • Who wants it all
  • I know who I am
  • Lanky, with come hither haunts her dreams
  • Besides belief in a dream, there is the 10 thousand hour rule
  • Friendships change as do the requirements
  • Emotional and spiritual growth settle the anxious heart
  • A woman remembers the girl, possibly Barcelona


  • Endings and new beginnings merge
  • Time beats by faster than it did at 16
  • Reconciliation of dreams with reality is bittersweet
  • Acceptance and denial are trashed
  • Honesty and gumption are the new black
  • Memories become Memoirs
  • Love at any age is difficult
  • Letting go ain’t easy
  • First kisses continue to delight


  • Reflection and determination forge a strength of will
  • Girls still want to have fun and why should we?
  • Time is relative
  • Memoirs, even the unwritten ones, haunt
  • The realization that life was exactly what I made it settles in.
  • There isn’t time for regret, there is only time to live

There are several decades ahead of me before I reach my seventies, thus I’m guessing what occupies the mind at the various ages, but what I have learned up to this point is this:

  • Nonsensical belief that all dreams come true
  • You only have to believe
  • First kisses leave a permanent mark on your heart
  • Boys are retarded
  • Love is what you make it
  • Who wants it all
  • Lanky, with come hither will always haunt
  • Time is relative
  • Forget regret
  • Follow your heart, even if you know it will break
  • Girls become women but their desire to have fun NEVER goes away
  • To be good at anything requires an investment of 10,ooo hours
  • And hope really does float (I’m still floating)

What keeps you in the game of life?


I’m a writer and hoarder of one-size-fits-all panty hose. Until the hose fits over my bum, I write to provide an alternative view on writing and perfection.

20 thoughts on “This One’s For The Girls

  1. Dale Holbrook

    This is why… every morning I wake up and think, “Thank God I’m a man!”… and I’m an Atheist!

    Male concerns, all ages:
    Is it fast?
    Can I eat it?
    Will she have sex with me?
    I hope God has a sense of humor!

  2. I love this, Brenda. Thank you for sharing this with us and tickling our reflective fancies. I think love varies at all ages but the idea of love remains the same. We are always searching for the “one” or our counterpart and until we finally come face to face with them (if we ever do), our hearts will always be susceptible to bitter breaks. W
    With love comes growth and I believe that with age comes a better understanding of the type of love we deserve. Just like our dreams. But then again, sometimes I think I knew better about my dreams and love when I was 16 than I do now. My first love was when I was 16 and if he were still alive today, sometimes I wonder about where we would be if we ever rekindled the love I chose to leave behind when I met a hoodlum from New York City who back then destroyed my idea of love.

    But we are quick to bounce back, aren’t we? I have a stable and admirable kind of love in my life now who has been a savior for me. But as far a soul mate, who knows. I might have lost one or two along the way. And maybe, those dreams are still left for the many more years of my life to come=)
    gina recently posted….Be Not Fearful Because I am With YouMy Profile

  3. I”m a few weeks away from my 48th birthday and I have to say these ages seem pretty accurate for me so far. I would not want to go back to any of my younger ages. Though I did love being the mom of babies, I also love being the mom of older kids too!! As always, you touch on so much and I adore reading your work!
    Kathy Radigan recently posted….Spilling the BeansMy Profile

  4. I love being a woman.
    I would NEVER want to be a man! (they are quite slow)
    I love kissing (only Mr. Liverpool Now)
    I love having fun, dancing, drinking wine, laughing, meeting new people.
    I love romance.
    I love LOVE.

    I love you, B. Xxx
    My Inner Chick recently posted….13 Things That Turn Me OnMy Profile

  5. What keeps me in the game is my faith. I’m an atheist who believes in you. You collectively, you individually. You Shewriters, you NaNoWriMos, you neighbors, you family, you bloggers-Brenda, Michelle, Cindy, Chris, etc… No matter what I’ve gone through in life, it has always been you walking beside me, helping me, letting me help you.
    It feels secure, and gives me hope because I am you too. Believe in you, I do.
    Lynne Favreau recently posted….Government ShutdownMy Profile

  6. Love takes work but you get back more than you give.
    I am not a victim.
    People have to make their own choices.
    Hard work is underrated.
    Work at anything as though you love it.
    You can deal with anything.

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