As the sun creeps in the room, or in my case, as the grey light brightens the darkened room, I feel a rumble, the spark of electricity. Before I even slip my big toe out from under the goose down duvet my mind powers up.
Some mornings she’s running on full power before I am, but other days, like today, she takes her time before cranking up the amps, switching the power grid from low to bursting. On these lazy-hazy mornings, she might stroll leisurely through the back streets of my mind. Maybe stand on the corner of Past and Present, consider the intersection of the two, reflect, maybe redirect, depending on how much she dwells. Sometimes if she is feeling feisty, she might even wander two blocks down and cross the intersection of Now or Never, and without thinking too much about it, take a left into the unknown just because she can. (I like it when she does). But more often than she should, she hustles over to the bullet train on the corner of Fast and Furious, and makes a beeline over to command central and powers up the daily To-do list.
With the power grid running at maximum strength the big toe drags the rest of the body out from under the warmth and hits the cold floor doing ten miles an hour knowing it’s already late for the day. The mind is two hours ahead, sirens are blasting inside, and that list typed up the night before is glowing in celestial bright lights with things like this.
- Do this
- Do that
- Buy this
- Return that
- Fluff and fold
- Dust and shine
- Call and resolve
- Projects big and small
- Weight in
- Work off
- Work out
- Listen to others
- Do for others
- Give to others
- Clutter the mind
- Take care of
- Prepare for
- Tend to the unattended
- Clear away
- Clean Up
Fifteen hours later, the day comes to a crashing halt with everyone in your life better for what you did for them or on behalf of them. The love seat in the corner of the living room watches you trot by a dozen times, the cup of steamy tea you left on the end table has gone cold, and the novel you left two days ago hasn’t advanced to page 12 because you continue to ignore yourself. You hustle by without a backward glance. The power grid is firing up for the nightly reconciliation ritual – what was not done today is moved over to the following day’s To-Do list. Often the unfinished tasks of the day bring about frustration and annoyance at self..
- I should have done this
- I should have done that
- I shouldn’t have stopped for that coffee
- I shouldn’t have ..
- Tomorrow I will ..
Nowhere on that list is room for a cup of tea, page thirteen, or time allocated to thank yourself for all that you do. Where have you granted permission to your own self to wander down the back streets of your mind and visit your old stomping grounds, like the corner of Creativity and Me, or that intersection of Dare to Dream and I Will. Maybe it’s time to make a change in your daily life, a small one.
Many of us do not write resolutions for the New Year, but I suspect many of us reflect as we prepare for the passing. There is something about the possibility of change that excites us. It encourages us to make secret commitments to our own selves.
Might I make the following suggestion as you reflect on the days behind you and you consider your tomorrows. When this day comes to a crashing halt make sure you find that cozy love seat, sip the tea while it’s hot, turn the page of that novel, and when it comes time for the nighty reconciliation ritual try adding a few twists to the list of To-Do’s:
- Thank myself at the end of everyday
- Spend time with me and do not feel guilty about it
- Revisit my old self and reconnect with a lost <yours to define>
- Breathe in all the good vibes and exhale the stale good for nothing negativity
- Stay Calm and Carry <yours to define>
- Allocate time everyday for something that matters to me