Remembering You

As the sun creeps in the room, or in my case, as the grey light brightens the darkened room, I feel a rumble, the spark of electricity. Before I even slip my big toe out from under the goose down duvet my mind powers up.

Some mornings she’s running on full power before I am, but other days, like today, she takes her time before cranking up the amps, switching the power grid from low to bursting. On these lazy-hazy mornings, she might stroll leisurely through the back streets of my mind. Maybe stand on the corner of Past and Present, consider the intersection of the two, reflect, maybe redirect, depending on how much she dwells. Sometimes if she is feeling feisty, she might even wander two blocks down and cross the intersection of Now or Never, and without thinking too much about it, take a left into the unknown just because she can. (I like it when she does). But more often than she should, she hustles over to the bullet train on the corner of Fast and Furious, and makes a beeline over to command central and powers up the daily To-do list.

With the power grid running at maximum strength the big toe drags the rest of the body out from under the warmth and hits the cold floor doing ten miles an hour knowing it’s already late for the day. The mind is two hours ahead, sirens are blasting inside, and that list typed up the night before is glowing in celestial bright lights with things like this.

  • Do this
  • Do that
  • Buy this
  • Return that
  • Fluff and fold
  • Dust and shine
  • Call and resolve
  • Projects big and small
  • Weight in
  • Work off
  • Work out
  • Listen to others
  • Do for others
  • Give to others
  • Clutter the mind
  • Take care of
  • Prepare for
  • Tend to the unattended
  • Pack
  • Unpack
  • Serve
  • Clear away
  • Clean Up

Fifteen hours later, the day comes to a crashing halt with everyone in your life better for what you did for them or on behalf of them. The love seat in the corner of the living room watches you trot by a dozen times, the cup of steamy tea you left on the end table has gone cold, and the novel you left two days ago hasn’t advanced to page 12 because you continue to ignore yourself. You hustle by without a backward glance. The power grid is firing up for the nightly reconciliation ritual – what was not done today is moved over to the following day’s To-Do list. Often the unfinished tasks of the day bring about frustration and annoyance at self..

  • I should have done this
  • I should have done that
  • I shouldn’t have stopped for that coffee
  • I shouldn’t have ..
  • Tomorrow I will ..

Nowhere on that list is room for a cup of tea, page thirteen, or time allocated to thank yourself for all that you do. Where have you granted permission to your own self to wander down the back streets of your mind and visit your old stomping grounds, like the corner of Creativity and Me, or that intersection of Dare to Dream and I Will. Maybe it’s time to make a change in your daily life, a small one.

 

Many of us do not write resolutions for the New Year, but I suspect many of us reflect as we prepare for the passing. There is something about the possibility of change that excites us. It encourages us to make secret commitments to our own selves.

Might I make the following suggestion as you reflect on the days behind you and you consider your tomorrows.  When this day comes to a crashing halt make sure you find that cozy love seat, sip the tea while it’s hot, turn the page of that novel, and when it comes time for the nighty reconciliation ritual try adding a few twists to the list of To-Do’s:

  • Thank myself at the end of everyday
  • Spend time with me and do not feel guilty about it
  • Revisit my old self and reconnect with a lost <yours to define>
  • Reinvent
  • Breathe in all the good vibes and exhale the stale good for nothing negativity
  • Stay Calm and Carry <yours to define>
  • Allocate time everyday for something that matters to me

 When was the last time your thanked yourself for all that you do?  

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by

I’m a writer and hoarder of one-size-fits-all panty hose. Until the hose fits over my bum, I write to provide an alternative view on writing and perfection.

36 thoughts on “Remembering You

    • Deborah – I didn’t think I was going in this direction, but by the end the post decided what it should say. I’ve read a lot of status updates and posts about the stress of the holiday. I guess it stuck.

  1. Just today my daughter asked me why I’m always the last one to sit down to eat. I told her it was part of being a mom. We worry about everyone else first. Just this morning I fainted, and since my daughter witnessed it and I didn’t want to freak her out, when I came to I laughed. I was so confused as to how I got on the floor, but I saw her terrified eyes and laughed because I needed to make sure she was okay. Then I made sure I was okay and got some iron since the fainting was from my anemia.
    Kelly Hashway recently posted….2012 RecapMy Profile

    • Kelly – I know about being the last one to eat. Most of the time mine are already on seconds before I get around to eating. I get busy talking or listening that I’m behind. I hope you pay closer attention to your body the next time she’s screaming at you…

    • So sorry to hear, Lynne, but I suspect we all have those periods now and again. I think of them as more of a cleansing. Breathe away your negativity it’s always better than you think it is.

  2. Hi, Brenda! ~

    Although I relate to much of this post, I can honestly say I do all of these every day:
    Thank myself at the end of everyday
    Spend time with me and do not feel guilty about it
    Revisit my old self and reconnect with a lost
    Reinvent
    Breathe in all the good vibes and exhale the stale good for nothing negativity
    Stay Calm and Carry
    Allocate time everyday for something that matters to me
    Thank you for calling my attention to this as an ‘accomplishment’ — it makes me smile bigger! XOXOXO
    Dangerous Linda recently posted….merry misfit xmasMy Profile

    • Linda, big smiles over here… I don’t reinvent as much as I used to because I like who I am and what I am doing. As with all my posts, I never know where they are going until I arrive at the end. With this one I thought.. ooooo, good way to sign off on 2012, a general reminder to the world. My to-do list is my to-do list, so there is no need to remind myself to breathe, only to take time to read.

    • J- you’ve been on my mind since our Whisky Sour and glass of red wine. Still in amazement at how much of our lives have a common theme. Enjoy the snow.. the racing. Keep warm and wishing you the same.

  3. Hi Brenda,

    This was wonderfully crafted: from the toe dragging the rest of you out of bed through the whirlwind of the day.

    I rarely formalize my New Year’s resolutions, but you’re right, they are deeply considered within. Making the small changes you suggest can serve us well and with their success may lead to even greater changes.
    Ray Colon recently posted….After The PrayersMy Profile

    • Ray – I think about things inside, and I have on many occasions made changes within, one of which was not to sweat the small stuff and to focus on my writing. It took some doing but once I did, I’ve had no regrets. I still trot past my cup of tea but it’s rarely because of an unfinished task on my to-do list.

    • Welcome, Joyce, and thanks kindly for your words. I am notorious for letting things go in lieu of writing. My poor cup of tea is often cold before I drink it.

  4. The worst part of it all is the dreadful frustration which creeps in and starts to poison all the good deeds of the day….everything would go so much more smoothly, everyone would have a better time, if only mommy took the time to do a little something for herself……I have discovered that i’m a much nicer mom if I write a little every day! Thought provoking post as always :) xxx
    Edith recently posted….Dreams and schemes at Christmas timeMy Profile

  5. Brenda, your post could not have come at a better time. Danny and I have been on the go, non-stop, for a week now. Today was the first day he went back to work and, with step-son visiting friends, and my sweet cat no longer with us, the house felt too quiet, too large, too empty . . . I found myself surrounded by thoughts and feelings which the flurry of the season had pushed aside, like that cup of tea grown cold. All of them came rushing in with gale force winds, and the tears began . . .
    I’m not one to make new year resolutions, but you have inspired me to do so. I will thank myself and give God thanks for who I am each and every day. And, I will not beat myself up if my “to-do” list stretches from a day to a week. It will get done eventually. And, I know I will be a better person for reading page 13 and sipping the tea while it’s hot . . .
    Blessings, my friend!
    Martha Orlando recently posted….Merry Christmas!My Profile

  6. This was beautiful Brenda! And I love reading your posts always. They are always so thoughtful, full of passion, and most of all relatable. This is share worthy! So necessary, I love the image of the couch watching you go past a dozen times. Perfect!

  7. Good point, Brenda. Great reminder. The day goes by pretty fast and one hardly ever gets to do all the “for me” things like reading a good book, or contemplating on a rainy day. Love it. Fave line: “Maybe stand on the corner of Past and Present, consider the intersection of the two…” What an image!
    monicastangledweb recently posted….A Christmas RemembranceMy Profile

    • Hey Monica, and it’s timely and felt or like a realistic view of the passing of a year. I sometimes feel I am on that intersection, at least when I am pondering a change in direction.

  8. Did you get inside of my mind this morning? I’m like this most days…and I can’t remember when the last time I thanked myself. Thanks for reminding me that I need to do that!

    Susan Dusterhoft
    Today’s Working Woman
    todaysworkingwoman25.blogspot.com

    • Susan – I’d say yes, but that would make me sound a big ‘creepy’, so no, but I thought about it and decided to send us all a reminder. Glad you stopped by and enjoyed the sentiment.

  9. Brenda, I’m always so rewarded for stopping by here and reading. When was the last time I thanked myself for all that I do? Wow – don’t know that I ever have. That is so empowering and enlightening and lightening – as in lightening my self-made load. I’m going to write the last seven to do items you’ve written here and really reward myself, sleep better, relax deeper.

    When was the last time I thanked you? Long time? Have I ever? I’m amiss.
    Thank you, Brenda. Thank you. Happy New Year.
    Barbara recently posted….Savory Brioche Pudding with Prosciutto or BaconMy Profile

    • Barbara, what a wonderful thing to read this morning over coffee. I don’t always remember to thank myself, but I do put myself ahead (meaning I make a point to take of my head and body) I stumble now and again, but…Sleep is one of those things I take seriously. I am always tempted to stay up too late, but it’s ever worth it. Who knew the body truly likes to rest! Happy New Year to you, too. all the best.

  10. B., I found your list of hectic to-dos and the should-have-dones or shouldn’t-have-dones so familiar. So familiar. I don’t suppose I have ever thanked myself. Small cheers and rewards, yes. But no thanks, yet.

    Thank you for the reminder.

    Have a beautiful 2013.

    • Yay! Claudine, I think each of are guilty of the occasional slight to our own-selves. I suppose the trick is to stop and remind ourselves once and a while. Wishing you the best in 2013, my sweet.

  11. Brenda, wonderful post! Sometimes, I find myself getting lost in the minutes of the day and before I know it, it’s time to put my head to rest on my pillow :) I believe it is important for all of us to take note of ourselves throughout each day, although I haven’t been one to practice this much in the past. I am getting better at it though LOL.
    Mary Hudak-Collins recently posted….Gluten and Dairy Free Belgian WafflesMy Profile

    • Thanks, Mary. I suspect each of is tripped up by our own self as we race through the hours of the day. I know there isn’t a cure for this, but I am happy to compromise with myself and settle for getting it ‘right’ most of the time. Best to you on your new blog.

  12. Yeppers my ole chum, thanking ourselves and appreciating our daily accomplishments is vital. I have never taken my abilities nor my contributions for granted since my kids were too small to afford that time. I know my worth in this household and I am not afraid to remind Roomy now and then that I more than pull my weight and if he slacks, I remind him; when he has a good day, I thank him, too.

    My lists are my bibles and I have no problem moving things to tomorrow, if time got slim. My nights are mine. To play, to read, to write and I sleep most mornings until I wake up. Retirement rocks that way.
    Jo Heroux recently posted….Oh NO, Not AgainMy Profile

    • Hey, Jo, of all the bloggers I read, you sound as if you have it figured out. Life is too sweet and short to fret … at least not all the time.

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