On Love and First Kisses

First Kisses

(Tête-à-Tête on love, 1 of infinity)

In everything I write about there is always a little about love, the ethereal, the chase, the settlement, the inevitable, the surrender, the misunderstanding, and oft the heartbreak that follows the rush.  I can’t help myself; it’s simply the most amazing experience-EVER.  There isn’t anything like it.  Nothing, not even drugs and Rock and Roll can make a person forget the magic of a first kiss, the wallapalooza one that made you feel like Piglet, holding on to a kite-tale on a that blustery day.

I tingle, just thinking about it.  To fall deep and passionately, the  truly, madly, deeply, Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire, sort of passion isn’t something a woman forgets, regardless if it is the love she ends her days in, she’ll  remember the one.  I’ve never lost hope, not even when I opened my seventh box of tissues after the Latin lover said, “It’s too soon.”  Not when the rocket scientist maintained there were no expectations, and that the absence of evidence was not evidence of absence.  Even though I broke in quarters, then quarters of quarters, and then quarters, of quarters, of quarters, until there only shards of me left.   Still, I kept the faith.  I wrapped my soul and heart so tightly around the possibility of love because I know there isn’t anything in life that comes close to making me glow like pure plutonium.

Love isn’t a lesson that one experiences vicariously, nor is it absorbed by reading about it in the pages of a book.  It’s one of those lessons that are learned as you live it, it’s an experience that is not one-size fits all.  It is one size, and will expand and contract to the person (couple), the respective individuals that make up the couple, the strength and will of person, the situation, the breadth and depth of a person’s capacity to expand.  It’s like Silly Putty. Love is a lump until it’s shaped and will fall with grace, like a silk slip over your hips.

Heed my words though, love is not shaped by controlling words, expectations, or definition.  Rather, it’s shaped by actions, come hither looks, lack of fear, trust, lust, chemistry, a pinch reckless abandonment, and let’s not forget, an abundance of passion and desire.

Love isn’t easy but it should be, it’s free but it’s hard to find, it’s not one size fits all, but it fits all sizes, it doesn’t come with instructions, but there are rules you must never break, it’s unforgettable, but it’s not lasting.  It can endure an entire lifetime or a mere moment, it’s the most difficult heart attack to recover from but it won’t kill you, but it can take away your breath and will.  All covet it, it’s found by few, feared by all, but treasured and hoarded, worshiped and scarified in the name of.  It’s quite simply, amazing.

Do you remember you first kiss, your lost but treasured love?

31 thoughts on “On Love and First Kisses

  1. Yes, I remember my first kiss and my first love. They happened to be the same person but were years apart. We dated twice. The second time was long-term and was one of the best relationships I’ve had. I’m a firm believer that when you truly love someone, you never stop loving them. While he and I are very different people now, he will always hold a special place in my heart and I wish him nothing but happiness. And yes, we do still occasionally catch up on Facebook or email. We were too important to each others lives to forget about each other.

    • Kelly-I have found that those great loves never leave the heart. Life changes, the world shifts, new loves are found, but there is something about the first..

  2. Kelly, Thanks beautiful! And Brenda, you outdo yourself every time! This is a gorgeous post. I remember my first love as well and many more between them and my current love. They all hold a place in me, too. I am a lover by nature and love deeply when I do. I’m not really in touch with them, but in this day and age I could be if I wanted to. :)

    • Jodi – I kind of suspected you were a lover, hmmm, maybe it’s your words. :-) It is true about being able to stay in touch with the ghosts of our pasts. I don’t harbor any negative feelings towards mine, but as Kelly said so beautifully, ‘we’re different people now” As always, your warm words are greatly appreciated. (The help me with my NY’s list, which is to be believe my writer’s words).

  3. Oh, yes, I well remember my first kiss on my sweet 16th birthday, and later the one who broke my heart (well, okay, there was more than one :-, but one shattered it while the other simply ripped it in two). I’m a hopeless romantic and believe that love really does make the world go round.
    Remember Kevin Costner’s manifesto in the movie Bull Durham. I’m like that!
    Great post as always, Brenda!

    • Nancy- Me, too, I am completely hopeless, but I suspect that much is known about be given my post topics. And yes, I am a big fan of that movie, classic lines throughout. I am smiling at your description of being ripped in two (not because it’s funny) because you carry on believing in the magic. Life is too short to live without passions.

  4. Brenda, my first kiss wasn’t the one that swept me away, though it was sweet. No, it was many years later when my now husband kissed me and my world changed. It was definitely a world changing kiss and 46 years later I still remember the wonder and the excitement as well as realizing that though the person who was kissing me wasn’t at all my ideal, I had somehow breathlessly and mindlessly fallen in love with him from this one kiss. Oh, yes, it was that powerful!!!

    • Barbara- I do love those sorts of kisses, they are defining in a person’s life. I wonder if men put the same value in to kissing as women do?

  5. Oh my! My first kiss was during a family trip to visit our relatives in the UK. I was 12 and I kissed a rough, good-looking cockney fellow called Nigel in my cousin’s garage with everybody watching and ‘Oh Darling’ by the Beatles playing loud and plaintive in the background. All I can say is I screwed up my eyes and held my breath…

    • Oh Monica, can’t wait to read ( slightly behind on reading because of the NYS). I think some passions can be revived over and over again.. but that’s the romantic in me speaking from the heart.

  6. –Dear B,
    I love love love your words :)

    I remember my first kiss was w/ Phil Wood. I thought, “Should I close my eyes? Should I put my tongue in his mouth? Should I….”

    It was not memorable with Phil….but your words are, my dear. Xxx

  7. Unfortunately I don’t remember my first kiss. I think I had braces at the time and spent the first embracing moments trying to wrap my lips around the metal so he didn’t have to experience the sharp edges. Got to say that must have been quite a feat since pencil-thin lips would be a step up! I’ve thought about telling people who stare at my sparse lips that I’ve had a lip reduction. Maybe that’s why I don’t care much for Angelina Jolie. :)

    As far as love goes…I hope you never stop writing about it. You are the Pablo Neruda of the blogosphere!

    • Hey Annie, I am smiling at your comment. I’m not sure I fit such a grand title, but it’s made my New Year’s morning. I’m sure the braces were worth it in the end, now you have one of those priceless smiles. Angie has nothing on you. :-)

  8. Sigh…. you always get me with these posts about love. Like Nancy, I too believe love makes the world go ’round. If you have love, you can get through everything else life throws at you. TRUE love. Best friends and lovers kind of love. I’ve only had that with one person in my whole life and he will always be THE ONE for me. And he wasn’t my first kiss but by far the most powerful and sweet and intense kisses I’ve experienced. Nothing will ever compare.

  9. I remember my first kiss, it was in high school and absolutely wonderful! I have loved several times. I will always love my ex-husband because of the sacrificial love I always saw him display raising our children and supporting me also. The mad, passionate kind of love that you never, ever forget was a forbidden love. Like Kelly, I am of the persuasion that if you once love someone you don’t simply stop; sometimes you make an extremely difficult choice for the best of everyone involved, but your feelings don’t change. An antique, small wooden clog (which was placed beneath my Christmas tree this year) reminds me of him.

    • Elizabeth- I agree with both you and Kelly, there are some loves you never-ever forget even if there are several loves after. Have you written a poem about the love you shared with your x-husband? Seems like there is something there.

  10. Oh Brenda….not so sure I remember the first kiss, but I surely remember kisses that have mattered. There is the kisses of passion, of exploration, of comfort. All equally memorable and important in their own ways.

    • MW-I should have clarified my wording, I don’t really remember my first one so much as I remember the ones that knocked my off my socks. Good catch..

  11. My first love: my best friend at the kindergarten, does that count? :) My first kiss: I was a teenager, there was this birthday party, we were both drunk, he ran away after and never called.

  12. I still get goose bumps when I think of my first kiss! Love is just ….. no labels it is something that one feels deeply… You have described it nicely…

  13. My first kiss…we’re talkin’ French kiss, right? Well, that’s what I’m talking about. It was passionate. We were all over each other’s faced. I’m sure if I were to repeat the same act today, the exact way I performed it then, I would be completely grossed out by all the spit swapping and to tounge slobbering. But it was freedom, unpredictable, a true exploration. So exciting! Tee hee. So fun to think about. Tank you!

    • You bring smiles to my face, Wild Child Mama. I supposed any first kiss that knock us girls off of our feet. It could be the first-first kiss, or one down the line. I am happy to remind you of those wonderful memories.

  14. Pingback: My first time | Wild Child Mama

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